Category: Struggle

We all grow up in a family system. What we might not always realize is that each of us assume a role in that system to make it “work.” This can be based on birth order, needs to manage specific relationships in the family or simply occur without much thought or attention. However, the role we assume in the family often leads to issues as we navigate life outside the system.

For example, let’s say that you have taken on a responsibility role in the family. You are often the one the family expects to fix whatever problems arise. Maybe it was as small as helping your siblings with their homework or as large as helping a family member manage an addiction. Either way, the message was that it was up to you to take care of the family. As you fill that role, it becomes ingrained within you. Without realizing it becomes one of your core drives. As you grow older and step out into the world, you do so with this drive firmly entrenched and ...

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, yet it is often one of the hardest acts to perform. Understanding why forgiveness is challenging and recognizing its profound benefits can help individuals and couples navigate the complexities of their relationships with greater empathy and resilience.

Why Forgiveness is Hard

Forgiveness requires us to confront our pain and vulnerability. When someone we care about hurts us, it triggers a range of intense emotions—anger, betrayal, sadness—that can be difficult to process. Holding onto these feelings can create a sense of control or protection, making it feel safer than the perceived risk of getting hurt again. Additionally, societal messages often equate forgiveness with weakness or submission, further complicating our willingness to let go of resentment.

Forgiveness also involves a shift in perspective. It requires empathy and understanding towards ...

We often focus on the negative. What don’t we have? What is still lacking? What if it never gets better? 

There are times we should focus on what’s wrong. Ignoring it isn’t going to help anything. A life without reflection is likely one without learning or growing, and can lead to additional complications. I invite you to think of things going well in addition to this reflection. What have you done well so far in your life? There must be something. Don’t count yourself out before you’ve truly reflected on the ways you’ve learned and the ways you’ve succeeded. If life is feeling extra sad or gray lately, find ways to make life just a little sweeter. Some ideas include: 

• Stay in the sun for an extra minute. 
• Look at encouraging quotes.
• Read old cards or letters from friends and family. 
• Drink a glass of water. 
• Take time to m ...
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