New Year, New Me!
New Year, New Me!
I know what you’re thinking, “Why a post on New Year’s resolutions?! That was a month ago! Did this guy schedule the wrong date for this post! I don’t even remember what my resolutions were!”
That’s exactly why it’s time to talk about them! Many of us set out at the beginning of the year to make some changes. During a moment of reflection, maybe as we watched the ball drop and the fireworks go off. Perhaps it was a good year, and you thought, “It’s time, I can finally make the change I’ve been wanting.” Or maybe, last year was rough, and you started with the thought, “I can’t do another year like last year. This year HAS to be different!”
Regardless of how or why you approached them, whether you called them “resolutions” or “goals” or they were just vague notions of something better, research shows that most of us give up on them in the first 2 weeks. (Side note, did you know the 2nd Friday in January is National Quitters Day for exactly this reason?!) Inertia takes over, habits remain, and it turns out, meaningful change is hard!
But, what if we approached change with a different mindset? What if it wasn’t about a black and white mindset of success or failure, of perfection or quitting? What if instead we focus on growth?
Here’s a few quick and dirty tips for shifting into a growth-oriented mindset:
1. Embrace the process. Don’t save all your joy and satisfaction for the final goal.
“When I finally get down to my ideal weight, I’ll be so much happier!”
Instead, enjoy the journey. Celebrate the small successes,
“I ate healthier today...”
And pay close attention to find the joy in those moments.
“..and, actually, it tasted really good! I’m glad I tried something new”
When you get to the end, celebrate it, but take the time to enjoy the journey too!
2. When you fail, don’t get down on yourself and shame yourself.
“I spent all of my last paycheck, AGAIN! I’ll never save what I need! I hate this! I’m so bad with money!”
Show yourself some grace,
“This is the first time I’ve really tried to handle my money differently, and wow, is it hard!”
And learn from the failures.
“Hmm… It looks like I ate out A LOT last week. Maybe this week I’ll leave my credit card at home so I’m not tempted to use the drive thrus?”
3. Find support. Find someone who will walk with you and help you, not just in making the change, but also in maintaining a growth mindset about the change. Of course, the counselor is going to plug asking for help! It doesn’t need to be a professional! (Though it could be, give us a call!) But seriously, find someone. Ask them to encourage you, support you, hold you accountable, remind you to show yourself grace, maybe even make the change together with you!
This winter we’ve had A LOT of snow. But it all started with the first snow fall, a series of little flakes that fell, piled up, and then melted away. (Remember that green Christmas day!) But winter didn’t give up, the flakes kept coming, one at a time, until momentum built, drifts formed, and we were stuck hibernating through 6,000 snow days in a row! Your change can be the same. Don’t give up when the change melts away. Embrace the process, show yourself some grace, learn from what went wrong, find a friend to walk, and try again. The flakes will keep coming, momentum will build, and real growth will take place!