Therapy is not always “productive.”

Therapy is not always “productive.”

What I mean by that is that what we often define as productive is not always what is most therapeutic.

Many people enter therapy with the goal of being more efficient, achieving more, handling more, managing stress better, or otherwise increasing performance. Whether at work or in relationships, the focus can easily become how well we manage the stresses and obligations of life.

These are good and worthy goals. But life satisfaction is not always measured by how well we handle the negative.

Much of life satisfaction comes from how well we create and connect with the good.

When was the last time you played? When was the last time you did something not for the sake of productivity, but simply because you wanted to? When was the last time you approached a conversation with your spouse or kids not focused on managing potential conflict, but on enjoying being present with them? When was the last time you looked at your calendar and thought, “I get to do this today,” and allowed yourself to enjoy it without guilt?

Yes, much of therapy involves uprooting and pruning. It can be hard. It can be exhausting. But therapy is about more than learning tools to keep the bad at bay. Along the way, we can lose sight of what we are actually trying to protect.

I challenge you to step out of the rat race, stop striving for a moment, and remember what makes your life worth living. Remember the good you are trying to connect with. Give yourself permission to play.

Sometimes, what feels like the least efficient use of time is actually the most important.