New Year Check-Ins

One of my favorite things to do in the first few months of the year is to reflect and consider what happened in the past year.

I also like to reflect on what I’m hoping for in the coming year. Wherever you find yourself coming out of the holiday season, my hope for you is that you can prioritize listening to your mind and body in a loving way. It’s by doing this that we’re able to access parts of ourselves or needs we may normally neglect. 

A common mindfulness technique I often recommend to my clients to help with increasing self-compassion and being curious with their inner world is the acronym: RAIN. 

To do this exercise, simply begin by sitting or lying down in a comfortable position and taking three centering deep breaths.

 Then focus for a few minutes on each step.The “R” of this exercise stands for “Recognize” – recognize your emotions, thoughts, andsensations that you feel in the moment. Let your mind wander in a non-judgmental way.

The “A” stands for “Allow” – we want to allow whatever we are feeling, thinking, or sensing tojust be and to offer those things our loving and compassionate attention.

The “I” stands for “Investigate” – Be curious about the thoughts, emotions, and sensations you’re feeling without judgment. It may help to focus on the most vulnerable part of yourself and reflect on what that part is needing (i.e. acceptance, forgiveness, love, belonging).

The “N” stands for “Nurture” – Offer compassion (or kindness) to yourself about what comes up for you. If you’re struggling with doing this naturally, it can help to think of a loving friend, family member, pet, or spiritual figure and imagine their love flowing to you in a compassionate way. 

Finally, end this mindfulness session by taking 3 deep centering breaths and re-orient yourself to the present.

The practice of checking in with yourself helps your nervous system refocus on what matters to you, what to let go of, and sort through what needs to be prioritized. It’s different than distracting grounding techniques, since it’s prioritizing allowing your body to feel what it feels. By being curious and compassionate toward even the weirdest or most random thoughts, feelings, and sensations, we remind our nervous system that it’s okay to be who we are – flaws and all. This helps reparent younger parts of ourselves and rebuild our self-esteem without needing the external validation from those outside ourselves. Having others in our life to offer reassurance about our worth helps, but we’re more in control of our own healing when we make time to be kind to ourselves as well.