Tag: Communication

We all grow up in a family system. What we might not always realize is that each of us assume a role in that system to make it “work.” This can be based on birth order, needs to manage specific relationships in the family or simply occur without much thought or attention. However, the role we assume in the family often leads to issues as we navigate life outside the system.

For example, let’s say that you have taken on a responsibility role in the family. You are often the one the family expects to fix whatever problems arise. Maybe it was as small as helping your siblings with their homework or as large as helping a family member manage an addiction. Either way, the message was that it was up to you to take care of the family. As you fill that role, it becomes ingrained within you. Without realizing it becomes one of your core drives. As you grow older and step out into the world, you do so with this drive firmly entrenched and ...

For years I often heard people say that you have to go through grief and pain, you can’t go around it, you can’t go above it, you have to go through it. For years I didn’t understand what that meant. We live in an incredibly emotionally avoidant culture which then leads to chronic mental emotional health struggles, high addiction and disconnection from self and others among other symptoms. 

In order to move through grief or pain a person must create a safe space for emotions to build. Like a wave on a beach, emotions need to be able to build and crash safely on the shore before they can recede out and become calm again. Instead of allowing the natural flow, we often dam up the water as high as we can to keep it from crashing, but then when it inevitably breaks the dam, and the lifetime of suppressed emotions can come cascading and flooding ...

The idea of boundaries is one that has been talked about so much in the past few years, many of us throw around the term in our daily conversations. If you need a refresher, a common definition of boundaries is: “guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe, and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.”  

I often discuss the topic of boundaries with clients, yet it is still something that I struggle with navigating in my personal life. I could use this space to share education on the different types of boundaries and the possible impacts of setting boundaries, but instead I’d like to share something that has been meaningful to me. A few years ago I heard a quote by Glennon Doyle that said, “every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your dut ...