Why Change Feels Impossible (Even When We Want It)

CHANGE:  “but I don’t want to!”

I want something to be different.  I want things to go better for me and my spouse and my children, myself, and my friends or whomever.  It seems like that whatever we decide isn’t working for us.  So, counselor what can I do to get the results I want BUT  I don’t want things to change for me in any way? 

I like what I am doing, I like my friends, I like where I am at...so why are things not feeling right? 

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. We tend to get set into a routine and it feels comfortable, no matter if the end result is negative or has an adverse effect on any relationship we have. 

We are creatures of habit and for the most part routines and habits are good for us to feel stable and secure.  It is when we have to change this habit or our routine needs to be altered when we start to be defensive and ignore what we need to do to be better.   

We have the desire to change, we have the ability to change and we have all the tools to change, so why don’t we? Why is a seemingly simple request so difficult for us to do? 

Well, there are numerous answers to this question and each are and can be individualistic to each person. We will continually ask ourselves is this change good for me?  This change is too big, this change is too tough, this change will take too long, this change is too costly...you name it we will come up with an excuse to stop this change process.

What I’m addressing here is the change process and what this may look like for you. When addressing change, place your goal at the top of the stairs, at each step, place what you may have to do to reach that goal.  Starting with something as simple as reading an article on the desired goal.  At each step put a date or some sort of time frame to accomplish each step, this places an accountability piece into your lap to get this done. Start small, start with just 15 minutes a day towards the goal and practice this everyday as you work through each step. You will begin to see small victories, creating better self-esteem, creating the confidence you may need to work towards larger goals.  

CHANGE: “it is possible”