Vulnerability is Not Weakness

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I grew up in a culture where opening up emotionally, or being vulnerable, was seen as weakness. It was for the gullible and naive - not the courageous.

Men were discouraged from ever showing sadness or fear. If they did, they were called names and made fun of for being “weak.” The only “negative” emotion that was socially acceptable to show was anger. If the men dared to show any sign of emotional vulnerability, their masculinity (a core identity for many) was instantly placed under public scrutiny.

Likewise, women were labeled as “overly emotional” if they cried in public. Women who were emotionally “stable” were the ones that cried in private and didn’t “make a fuss.” Another way of putting this is that they silenced their hearts and didn’t let others know how they really felt.

Many parents discouraged their children from crying in public to avoid embarrassment around onlookers. Parents cared more about the opini ...

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Posted in:

  • Vulnerability

Tags:

  • Emotions
  • courage
  • shame

Reintegration After Isolation

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With the onset of the COVID pandemic, there was a multitude of social outlets many of us like to engage in that were put on hold. Concerts, going to restaurants, and even more mundane social contexts such as working in a setting with co-workers that we sometimes take for granted were all interrupted last March. A common sentiment heard during this period of time was “I can’t wait to socialize again” regardless of what one’s preferred means of socialization was. Fast forward to the summer of 2021, and social events are starting to happen again. Concerts are suddenly able to be planned, restaurants are starting to bustle with patrons more than in the past year, and some workplaces are transitioning back to work in-person. Yet despite these exciting realities of socialization becoming available again, there’s one sentence that I’ve heard frequently over the past few weeks from clients and friends alike: “I think I’m excited to socialize, but for some rea ...

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Posted in:

  • Anxiety
  • COVID-19

Tags:

  • Social Atrophy
  • relationships
  • social distancing

Baby Steps

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There have been a few times in my life when I found myself standing at the edge of a cliff.  


One of my favorite times was when I visited the Grand Canyon while I was in college. It was breathtaking, but I'll admit that I was thankful for the railing. 

When I visited the Grand Canyon, I was able to hike down to the bottom. I didn't scale down a cliff, but instead took a meandering, all-day hike to a place called Phantom Ranch. 

Our lives can often mirror this same journey. 

There is rarely a time when we make one big decision to get us where we end up going. Instead, we often take baby steps down a path that can leave us wondering how we ended up there. Just as often, we look for the one “big decision” to change our life for the better. 

Unfortunately, we often don’t pay attention to the little things along the way that lead us down the path.  We can become so preoccu ...

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Posted in:

  • Change

Tags:

  • intention
  • time

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