Tag: Expectations

We all grow up in a family system. What we might not always realize is that each of us assume a role in that system to make it “work.” This can be based on birth order, needs to manage specific relationships in the family or simply occur without much thought or attention. However, the role we assume in the family often leads to issues as we navigate life outside the system.

For example, let’s say that you have taken on a responsibility role in the family. You are often the one the family expects to fix whatever problems arise. Maybe it was as small as helping your siblings with their homework or as large as helping a family member manage an addiction. Either way, the message was that it was up to you to take care of the family. As you fill that role, it becomes ingrained within you. Without realizing it becomes one of your core drives. As you grow older and step out into the world, you do so with this drive firmly entrenched and ...

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What do you value? What is most important to you?

So often we can feel a dissonance within ourselves. We can struggle to identify what we want or need which can lead to difficulty making decisions.

By learning to answer the questions above, we can help connect our head and our heart. When we live life according to our values, or said another way, according to what is most important to us, we often become more confident and at ease about what we want and need which can make making decisions
easier.

So how can you figure out your values? Here’s a guide to help.

First, start by reading the list below. Highlight any words that stand out to you. You can also add a few of your own.

Core Values List

Authenticity
Achievement
Adventure
Authority
Autonomy
Balance
Beauty
Boldness
Compa ...

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I have a nine year old son who loves to read. Before bed, we’ll often grab a classic tale to read together. As I’m writing this, we’re deep into Treasure Island, enjoying the harrowing tale of a young boy named Jim Hawkins who winds up aboard a ship of marauding pirates. Jim has to use his wits to outsmart the mutinous crew as he seeks to right wrongs and avoid certain death. 

My son and I find ourselves drawn to the underdog hero, cheering his valiant escapades. We’re left wondering whether we could muster the courage to outwit the unscrupulous Long John Silver, whether we would put ourselves at risk to aid dying friends, and if we would be willing to undertake an arduous journey that would eventually lead to untold treasure.

We close the book after reading a few chapters at a time and find ourselves back in reality. I’ve somehow ended up in an uncomfortable sitting position, my back aching and my arm numb from holding the bo ...

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