Tag: boundaries

The idea of boundaries is one that has been talked about so much in the past few years, many of us throw around the term in our daily conversations. If you need a refresher, a common definition of boundaries is: “guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe, and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.”  

I often discuss the topic of boundaries with clients, yet it is still something that I struggle with navigating in my personal life. I could use this space to share education on the different types of boundaries and the possible impacts of setting boundaries, but instead I’d like to share something that has been meaningful to me. A few years ago I heard a quote by Glennon Doyle that said, “every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your dut ...

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Becoming a 'Human Being' vs. a 'Human Doing'

When I was in college, I had a thoughtful professor who hated the 'b' word; as in 'busy.' He would say that too often people use the word 'busy' to describe how they have been and he didn’t understand why people felt the need to let others know that they had a ton going on. He also noted that the phrase 'being busy,' doesn’t actually describe how a person is feeling. I found this profound to think about. Why is it that some people feel the need to always be so busy and to let others know that they’re busy?

The way we choose to live our lives will shape who we become. Often that requires deep reflection of our habits and the kinds of relationships we are choosing to allow in our life. However, one of the greatest barriers to this deeper reflection is 'busyness.'

A lot of people recognized their addiction to busyness d ...

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Pain. A broken limb, a failing grade, a shattered relationship, or a “Closed on Sundays” sign at the Chick-fil-A drive-thru. Pain can be experienced in a multitude of ways. It’s never fun at the time, and it leaves you longing for one thing, comfort. It is in this cycle that so many people can find themselves trapped. They feel pain, they seek comfort; wash, rinse, repeat. Many begin to program themselves to receive a steady intake of minor comforts throughout the day to mitigate any potential pain that comes their way. Simultaneously they begin to decrease their tolerance for pain, while increasing their need for comfort. The very comforts they pursue begin to fuel the pain they feel in the first place. Alcohol was supposed to relieve the stress from work. Social Media was supposed to alleviate my loneliness. More money was supposed to make the anxiety go away. Why isn’t it working?

The answer does not rest simply in our understanding of ...

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