Tag: boundaries

Becoming a 'Human Being' vs. a 'Human Doing'

When I was in college, I had a thoughtful professor who hated the 'b' word; as in 'busy.' He would say that too often people use the word 'busy' to describe how they have been and he didn’t understand why people felt the need to let others know that they had a ton going on. He also noted that the phrase 'being busy,' doesn’t actually describe how a person is feeling. I found this profound to think about. Why is it that some people feel the need to always be so busy and to let others know that they’re busy?

The way we choose to live our lives will shape who we become. Often that requires deep reflection of our habits and the kinds of relationships we are choosing to allow in our life. However, one of the greatest barriers to this deeper reflection is 'busyness.'

A lot of people recognized their addiction to busyness d ...

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Pain. A broken limb, a failing grade, a shattered relationship, or a “Closed on Sundays” sign at the Chick-fil-A drive-thru. Pain can be experienced in a multitude of ways. It’s never fun at the time, and it leaves you longing for one thing, comfort. It is in this cycle that so many people can find themselves trapped. They feel pain, they seek comfort; wash, rinse, repeat. Many begin to program themselves to receive a steady intake of minor comforts throughout the day to mitigate any potential pain that comes their way. Simultaneously they begin to decrease their tolerance for pain, while increasing their need for comfort. The very comforts they pursue begin to fuel the pain they feel in the first place. Alcohol was supposed to relieve the stress from work. Social Media was supposed to alleviate my loneliness. More money was supposed to make the anxiety go away. Why isn’t it working?

The answer does not rest simply in our understanding of ...

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I was talking with my daughter recently and she shared with me that she is teaching my granddaughter about setting and respecting physical space limits.  My daughter didn’t use those specific words, but it is essentially what she was referring to.  It reminded me of the importance of setting clear boundaries with others and the important responsibility of keeping and respecting boundaries of others and of ourselves.  It is good to recognize that we all have limitations and recognizing that and putting healthy boundaries up helps us to thrive.

My granddaughter is learning about a physical boundary, but there are other areas we may want to consider when thinking of boundaries.  Areas that I have learned to value and protect with boundaries include financial, time, energy, and emotional boundaries.  These can change as our circumstances change, but it is good to know what boundary I need or want to be in place for the c ...

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If your business is struggling, is it possible that it’s because you know your financial statements better than you know your people?

If, as a therapist and former business owner, I could make just one recommendation to owners of struggling businesses it would be this; knowing your people and letting them know you is likely the best and fastest way to solve your problems. It’s difficult to build a winning team without really knowing the players and developing a strong relationship with and amongst them.

But it’s scary right? Maybe not the part of you knowing them, perhaps you already do, or think you do at least.  But letting them know you; being honest, open and vulnerable can only get you in trouble, right?

Don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that it’s appropriate to share all the details of your life, or the precise impact the business struggles are causing to your health, mindset or family life.&n ...

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