Self-Compassion Over Shame

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I have been learning a lot about shame recently. I think if asked, we can all describe it. It’s when we believe not only that we did something wrong, but we believe we ARE wrong. These days, we can feel it anywhere. We post something on Instagram and someone critiques or condemns us for posting it.  We say something in a group of friends and people laugh or make fun of us for saying it. We stand up to our family on something we feel is wrong or have differing beliefs about, and they shoot us down. Even if we have a health crisis or feel like our body fails us, that can also be shame. Like I said, we can feel it anywhere, anytime, and from anyone.

 

There are two things that I feel combat shame or at least help us identify it and help us learn to distance ourselves from it, the first being self-compassion. This is quite different the self-esteem. Self-esteem “refers to our sense of self-worth, perceived value, or how ...

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Posted in:

  • Shame

Tags:

  • self-compassion
  • self-esteem

Need Input!

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One of my favorite things to do is introduce my children to some of the classical movies that I enjoyed in my youth. The other day, I decided to show them the 1986 movie, Short Circuit. The story of the movie follows the journey of an experimental military robot that gets struck by lightning and has gained a human-like intelligence. Early on in the movie, the robot, named Number 5, is exploring the world trying to understand the world of humans. One of the things that Number 5 continues to verbalize is “Need Input!”  Whenever input is given, Number 5 takes in the information but then repeats “Need Input!” 

 

What stuck with me about Number 5’s demand of “Need Input!” is that we, too, require input as we explore our world, especially as it relates to our interpersonal relationships.  How many times have you struggled to understand something that another person in your life is trying to convey to you ...

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Posted in:

  • Communication

Tags:

  • input

It's Okay Not to Be Okay

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Let me start by asking a question.  How did you answer someone the last time they asked you how you were?  I bet I could venture a guess, and it may have sounded a little like this: “I’m fine."  Now, let me follow that question with another question.  How truthful were you in your response?  I am betting that most likely you may have disregarded your current emotion so you would not make someone else feel uncomfortable.  

 

In a society that has placed a strong emphasis on success, happiness, and reputation, it is often hard to feel safe to share our emotions honestly.  The point of this post is not to make you feel like you have to share your feelings with every person that asks; however, what I do hope it accomplishes is helping you to reflect on the truth that it is okay to not be okay!  

 

Unfortunate ...

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Posted in:

  • Emotions

Tags:

  • Communication
  • feelings

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