Feeling Like You Are Failing At Life

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Feel like a failure? Try this… 

For the second time this month, I switched all my clients to telehealth, battled with my husband for time to work, canceled 10 days worth of commitments to friends, family, and random offices, and headlocked my 7 year old while he endured a brain-poking COVID19 test. I’ve felt like a bad counselor, a bad wife, a bad friend, and a bad mom. Days and days of quarantine and somehow my home is still messy and we are eating chicken nuggets and mac and cheese for dinner. 

As I look around and assess the seeming chaos in my quarantined home and daily routine, it’s easy for me to conclude that I AM A FAILURE. I’m falling very short of my ongoing desires and goals for my life. I am unable to be physically present for my clients who feel most comfortable in the reprieve of my office. I do not feel like a kind, generous, gracious wife. I am unable to host family for dinner and meet up wit ...

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Posted in:

  • Failure

Tags:

  • coping
  • coping
  • coping
  • reframe
  • success

Doing Life Alone

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Somewhere along the way on my journey of life, I developed a belief that I was supposed to do life alone.  I absorbed a belief system from the movies I watched, the television I consumed, and the people who were closest to me, that the strong person was the one who was a rugged individualist and needed no one.  This kind of life protected me from hurt and loss because it kept people at arm’s length and made it impossible for anyone or anything to hurt me.  You see, I believed the worst thing that could happen to me was to be hurt, and I wanted to avoid that at all costs.  Since people will inevitably hurt you, I chose to let very few people in.

 

My approach to life worked into my mid-thirties, until it stopped working, and I entered a very dark period of my life where I realized that I had very few friends, I was emotionally drained, and most of the people in my life had become projects.  I believe w ...

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Posted in:

  • Relationships

Tags:

  • friendships
  • independence

Toxic Positivity

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Were you ever told or tell yourself any of the the below statements:

 

“You’ll get over it.”

“Never give up.”

“Stop being so negative.”

“Just be happy.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Look on the bright side.”

 

Have you ever felt misunderstood by your friends and family when you share what you are struggling with? Have you ever felt that what you are going through shouldn’t be so hard and that you need to just get over it and move on? Do you ever find yourself saying positive things that don’t really seem to help the situation?

 

If you answered yes to any of the above questions you are not alone. As humans we often are hardwired to believe that it is not “okay” to feel anything bad or that bad or sad emotions are not okay. Whether we are the ones experiencing the emotion o ...

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Posted in:

  • Positivity

Tags:

  • emotons
  • emotons
  • false optimism
  • shame
  • shame

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