Listening to Respond vs. Listening to Understand

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Have you ever been listening to something, possibly music, a book or a podcast, and suddenly you realize you have no idea what you’ve been listening to? Or have you ever met someone and that person introduced themselves and you instantly forgot their name? Or finally, have you ever found yourself listening to someone but all you can think of is what you’re going to say back to them when they stop talking? I’m sure most of us can relate to one or several of these examples. The reality about listening is that it isn’t as simple as just listening. 

There are four main types of listening that we utilize in different scenarios in life. All of which are important, have value and are needed. The challenge is learning to employ the right type of listening for the right scenario, because when we use the wrong type of listening it likely won’t lead to the desired result or outcome. After learning the dif ...

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Posted in:

  • Listening

What Is My True Capacity?

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We go into every day with a set capacity. When we think of that capacity, many of us view it as having 100% to give every day. If we can do that, we are successful. If we do that, we’ve done all we can. If we do that, we can count the day as a win.

Some of us don’t think that’s enough. Some of us think that in order to truly give everything that we have on a given day, we need to give 120%. That would mean that we’ve done enough to view the day as a success. The problem with this mindset is that we have set ourselves up to operate at a daily deficit. Every day we are giving 20% beyond what we have, and inevitably it catches up.

 

Now, here is the kicker. I think the idea that we have 100% to give is a myth. Everyday when we wake up there are things that already take  away from our capacity. Maybe I’m really overwhelmed at work and that takes 20% of my energy. Maybe I got in a fight with my partner ...

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Posted in:

  • Burnout

Tags:

  • balance

When Empathy Gets Us In Trouble

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In recent years, there has been an increase in discussions about empathy. Social topics including cultural divisiveness, racism, lack of inclusivity, problems in personal relationships, have blamed a lack of empathy as the source of the problem. Empathy is important to demonstrate compassion and to feel more connected. Empathy is being able to put yourself in another person’s shoes and enter into their reality, allowing one to understand what another person might be thinking, feeling, or experiencing in the moment. It makes sense folks associate a lack of empathy with political and social issues being present in today’s world.

Although empathy has positive impacts in most social situations, a “more empathy is better” mindset won’t necessarily help solve all the problems or even experience the connection we desire. Have you ever found yourself feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or lost in a relationship despite utilizing empathy as a method t ...

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Posted in:

  • Empathy

Tags:

  • relationships

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