Category: Grief

Everything's Fine...

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“It’s fine.”  “Everything is fine.”  “I’m fine.”  Have you ever strung together these three sentences and thought to yourself, “shoot, I think I might not be fine”. 


About a year ago I was in a car accident that resulted in emergency surgery, a stay in the trauma center at the hospital, and a long recovery (in addition to other challenges). It was the most challenging and scary time in my life. I didn’t think that I was going to make it, and yet I would find myself telling my loved ones who came to visit me, “It’s fine.”  “Everything is fine.”  “I’m fine.” 


Why is it so hard to admit that sometimes we are not fine? It has taken me a while to figure out why I was so desperately pushing myself to be fine. Though I wanted those words to be true, what I wanted more than anything was for my loved ones to think and feel that those words were true.


Whet ...

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Posted in:

  • Breathe
  • Comfort
  • Communication
  • Coping
  • Emotions
  • Exhaustion
  • False self
  • Grief
  • Pain
  • Presence
  • Processing
  • Relationships

Tags:

  • Emotions
  • coping
  • emotons
  • feelings
  • friendships
  • grief
  • growth
  • intentional
  • relationships
  • trauma

Unpacking Grief

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When you think of grief or grieving, what comes to mind? If you’re like many people, death and dying are probably at the top of the list, or perhaps they are the only points on the list. In my experience with people - both formal and informal - it has become apparent that grief is largely misunderstood and, therefore, not often acknowledged to its fullest extent. Aside from the necessary attention given to one who is dealing with death and the, oftentimes, unwanted effect of it, a wealth of circumstances and life events are likely to bring about legitimate grief. The difference with such instances not relating to death is the uncertainty about how to grieve or if it is even warranted, assuming it is not neglected altogether. Grief is primarily about mourning a loss - whether literal or figurative, concrete or abstract - which leads to the aspect of “normal” versus complicated grief. Given that I work in mental health care, I prefer to avoid the word n ...

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Posted in:

  • Grief

Tags:

  • Emotions

Grieving the Loss of Unmet Expectations, Hopes, & Dreams

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Have you ever reflected on your life and thought, “I never imagined my life would look like this.” For some, this thought can bring feelings of excitement, joy, and gratitude. But for many others, this same thought brings about feelings of sadness, disappointment, and even anger.

Like with the loss of a loved one, grief can show up for us when we experience the loss of unmet expectations, hopes, and dreams. Perhaps you always dreamed of moving out of state, but instead you’re living in your hometown. Or maybe you always hoped for a nurturing relationship with your mom, yet all these years later, that longing still hasn’t been met. When ungrieved, these losses can hang over us and may even lead to resentment, shame, depression, or anxiety.

So what do we do? As with any loss, we can move towards healing through the process of grieving.

How to Grieve the Loss of Unmet Expectations, Hopes, and Dreams

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Posted in:

  • Grief

Tags:

  • Dreams
  • Expectations
  • Hopes

An Unwelcome Guest

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There's a winter storm taking place outside and every weather channel is asking that you stay home. But what if they knew that the holidays sometimes feel so much worse than driving in the crazy snow?

A season that is often spoken of as a time for "family" and "joy" often brings about much grief and anxiety as one spends time reflecting on the "has been's" and "could be's" of life. How is it possible to feel sad during the happiest time of the year?

Grief might seem like an unwelcome guest at the holiday table, and might take on many different forms. It might look like reminiscing the past, memories of losing a loved one, dying relationships, or loneliness that comes with change this time of year.

When it comes to our grief, it can feel more comfortable to pretend it doesn't exist and spend the time avoiding it like we do the plague. But what if the presence of grief was to aid you, rather than hurt you?

Allo ...

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Posted in:

  • Grief

Tags:

  • Emotions
  • grief

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