Category: Grief

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, yet it is often one of the hardest acts to perform. Understanding why forgiveness is challenging and recognizing its profound benefits can help individuals and couples navigate the complexities of their relationships with greater empathy and resilience.

Why Forgiveness is Hard

Forgiveness requires us to confront our pain and vulnerability. When someone we care about hurts us, it triggers a range of intense emotions—anger, betrayal, sadness—that can be difficult to process. Holding onto these feelings can create a sense of control or protection, making it feel safer than the perceived risk of getting hurt again. Additionally, societal messages often equate forgiveness with weakness or submission, further complicating our willingness to let go of resentment.

Forgiveness also involves a shift in perspective. It requires empathy and understanding towards ...

For years I often heard people say that you have to go through grief and pain, you can’t go around it, you can’t go above it, you have to go through it. For years I didn’t understand what that meant. We live in an incredibly emotionally avoidant culture which then leads to chronic mental emotional health struggles, high addiction and disconnection from self and others among other symptoms. 

In order to move through grief or pain a person must create a safe space for emotions to build. Like a wave on a beach, emotions need to be able to build and crash safely on the shore before they can recede out and become calm again. Instead of allowing the natural flow, we often dam up the water as high as we can to keep it from crashing, but then when it inevitably breaks the dam, and the lifetime of suppressed emotions can come cascading and flooding ...

“It’s fine.”  “Everything is fine.”  “I’m fine.”  Have you ever strung together these three sentences and thought to yourself, “shoot, I think I might not be fine”. 

About a year ago I was in a car accident that resulted in emergency surgery, a stay in the trauma center at the hospital, and a long recovery (in addition to other challenges). It was the most challenging and scary time in my life. I didn’t think that I was going to make it, and yet I would find myself telling my loved ones who came to visit me, “It’s fine.”  “Everything is fine.”  “I’m fine.” 

Why is it so hard to admit that sometimes we are not fine? It has taken me a while to figure out why I was so desperately pushing myself to be fine. Though I wanted those words to be true, what I wanted more than anything was for my loved ones to think and feel that those words were true.

Whet ...