Category: Family

We all grow up in a family system. What we might not always realize is that each of us assume a role in that system to make it “work.” This can be based on birth order, needs to manage specific relationships in the family or simply occur without much thought or attention. However, the role we assume in the family often leads to issues as we navigate life outside the system.

For example, let’s say that you have taken on a responsibility role in the family. You are often the one the family expects to fix whatever problems arise. Maybe it was as small as helping your siblings with their homework or as large as helping a family member manage an addiction. Either way, the message was that it was up to you to take care of the family. As you fill that role, it becomes ingrained within you. Without realizing it becomes one of your core drives. As you grow older and step out into the world, you do so with this drive firmly entrenched and ...

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, yet it is often one of the hardest acts to perform. Understanding why forgiveness is challenging and recognizing its profound benefits can help individuals and couples navigate the complexities of their relationships with greater empathy and resilience.

Why Forgiveness is Hard

Forgiveness requires us to confront our pain and vulnerability. When someone we care about hurts us, it triggers a range of intense emotions—anger, betrayal, sadness—that can be difficult to process. Holding onto these feelings can create a sense of control or protection, making it feel safer than the perceived risk of getting hurt again. Additionally, societal messages often equate forgiveness with weakness or submission, further complicating our willingness to let go of resentment.

Forgiveness also involves a shift in perspective. It requires empathy and understanding towards ...

I have a nine year old son who loves to read. Before bed, we’ll often grab a classic tale to read together. As I’m writing this, we’re deep into Treasure Island, enjoying the harrowing tale of a young boy named Jim Hawkins who winds up aboard a ship of marauding pirates. Jim has to use his wits to outsmart the mutinous crew as he seeks to right wrongs and avoid certain death. 

My son and I find ourselves drawn to the underdog hero, cheering his valiant escapades. We’re left wondering whether we could muster the courage to outwit the unscrupulous Long John Silver, whether we would put ourselves at risk to aid dying friends, and if we would be willing to undertake an arduous journey that would eventually lead to untold treasure.

We close the book after reading a few chapters at a time and find ourselves back in reality. I’ve somehow ended up in an uncomfortable sitting position, my back aching and my arm numb from holding the bo ...