Fighting All or Nothing Thinking

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In 2015, I realized that I was addicted to screens. I was a 3 screens at all times person: watching TV, looking at stats on my computer, playing games on my phone.

It wasn't until a major crisis in my life that I was able to shut those screens off and reconnect with my real life.  After a time of screen detox I started to think through what boundaries and limits I could put in place in my life.

Here's how it went. 

I love sports: hockey, football, soccer, basketball... pretty much all sports I can become interested in and enjoy. This isn't a bad thing. But at one point in my life I was consuming 24-30 hours of sports content each week.  I was highly invested in my favorite teams. This is a nice way of saying, "If my team lost, I was grumpy the rest of the day..." While not a bad thing in itself, sports had become misordered in my life. 

Rather than swearing off sports altogether, I began ...

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Tags:

  • change
  • compassion

Of Grief and Guns

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On May 24, 2022 a gunman carrying two semi-automatic rifles walked into Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas and violently took the lives of 19 children and 2 teachers. When a tragedy like this happens in our nation, it shocks us to our core. Words fail as we struggle to make sense of something so senseless. The pain and rage of one young man being multiplied, amplified, taking on a life of its own and sending shockwaves reverberating through the lives of countless others. The death toll is currently 21, but the impact will be felt by millions.

 

There are some predictable responses to a school shooting like this. Politicians will circle the wagons, seizing the opportunity provided by the crisis to gain momentum for or against gun restrictions. Some will offer thoughts. Some will offer prayers. Pundits and social media influencers will take sides in the culture war, feeding into the outrage and heartache of a grieving nati ...

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Posted in:

  • Tragedy

Tags:

  • coping
  • feelings
  • feelings
  • grief

Attunement: Foundations for a Lifetime

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A mother and child sit face-to-face, each giving their full attention to the other. As the infant gleefully interacts with her mother through cooing, pointing, and the like, the mother responds by appropriately mirroring the child’s facial expressions, repeating the cooing sound, looking to where she points, and responding verbally. They are in a synchronous dance of mutually delighting in one another—the child leading; the mother responding. Then, for a brief moment, the mother turns her face away. As she turns toward her daughter once again, something has changed—something immediately evident to the child. Where the mother was once smiling and responding to her, the child now sees a stoic, unresponsive face. Could this be another game? The child smiles, knowing this always bring a smile to her mother’s face. Nothing. She coos happily and reaches for her mother’s face—surely this will get mom’s attention! Again, nothing. The mother sits in the presen ...

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Posted in:

  • Attachment

Tags:

  • childhood
  • mindfullness
  • parent

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