Tag: emotons

The two biggest factors that influence your present day relationship patterns are: 

1. How you experienced conflict in your family of origin.
2. How/if you received comfort in your family of origin.

Let me illustrate with two versions of the same story, with different endings: 

Version 1: 

Imagine that you’re 5 years old, find a mental picture of yourself at that age. What did your hair look like, what was a favorite outfit that you may have been wearing? Once you have that image, imagine yourself at that age coming back from a family vacation in another state. Your family has already driven 3 hours away from the vacation spot toward home and are getting back in the vehicle after a rest stop. Your parents are trying to help you into the family car when you realize that you left your favorite teddy bear back at your vacation spot. Your comfo ...

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Were you ever told or tell yourself any of the the below statements:

 

“You’ll get over it.”

“Never give up.”

“Stop being so negative.”

“Just be happy.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Look on the bright side.”

 

Have you ever felt misunderstood by your friends and family when you share what you are struggling with? Have you ever felt that what you are going through shouldn’t be so hard and that you need to just get over it and move on? Do you ever find yourself saying positive things that don’t really seem to help the situation?

 

If you answered yes to any of the above questions you are not alone. As humans we often are hardwired to believe that it is not “okay” to feel anything bad or that bad or sad emotions are not okay. Whether we are the ones experiencing the emotion o ...

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