We go into every day with a set capacity. When we think of that capacity, many of us view it as having 100% to give every day. If we can do that, we are successful. If we do that, we’ve done all we can. If we do that, we can count the day as a win.

Some of us don’t think that’s enough. Some of us think that in order to truly give everything that we have on a given day, we need to give 120%. That would mean that we’ve done enough to view the day as a success. The problem with this mindset is that we have set ourselves up to operate at a daily deficit. Every day we are giving 20% beyond what we have, and inevitably it catches up.

Now, here is the kicker. I think the idea that we have 100% to give is a myth. Everyday when we wake up there are things that already take  away from our capacity. Maybe I’m really overwhelmed at work and that takes 20% of my energy. Maybe I got in a fight with my partner the previous night and that’s taking 30% of my energy. Maybe I have to get three kids to three different sports and thinking about the logistics all day takes 40%. Maybe I wake up in a world that is complicated, a world that’s been in a pandemic, a world that is exhausting and that takes 50%. If I live with my 100% mindset, trying to give that full 100% I’m operating at 20%, 30%, 40%, 50% deficits. No wonder I’m tired. And let’s not even talk about what to do if I’m trying to give 120%.

So what do I do? What if instead of living with a 100% mindset, I allow myself the grace to simply give what I have on a daily basis. If I have 20% and I give 20%, let’s view that as a victory. Permission to not have to give that extra 80% can keep me from burning out. I think this is an important way to live, and one I wish I lived more often. I spend way too much time operating outside of my capacity and I find myself tired, overwhelmed and not my best self. This isn’t a failure, but an opportunity to live each day with more freedom. What would it take to start today?

Michael Walton, MDiv, MA, LPC