On Being Present

It is a humid, hot, sticky day and I am in the middle of rural Uganda living with a host family for five days. Can you say culture shock? The hut, and yes, I do mean an actual hut made of cow pies, has three rooms to it. The bathroom is a hole in the ground located fifty feet away from the home. I am bunking with another student from my program and we spend our days washing dishes, learning to milk a cow, filling jerricans with water, eating fresh fruit and sitting around talking to locals. I am definitely not in Grand Rapids, Michigan anymore. 

This was about to be my first lesson in being and staying present. 

Distractions were limited. We had no smart phones with us. Music was either heard and sung at the local church or on the crackly radio. I remember having books with me and reading under the mango tree, but that was the extent of media. There was no social media, no noise, no Amazon Prime. The word ‘hustle’ was nowhere the found within a thousand miles. Rushing was not something these humans knew and it certainly was not something ingrained in them. They had a slow cadence, a “3-mile-per-hour” lifestyle. 

And it captivated me. 

It took a while to adjust, but I adopted it wholeheartedly after a few days. Sure, it was hard, but hard doesn’t always mean bad. That experience was the catalyst that led me on a life long journey in practicing presence. It’s been a delight to name the good and remain present in daily life and it’s been a true gift practicing presence with my clients week to week. 

Here’s a compassionate reminder: presence is a gift to yourself and others. It’s also a practice. This means that it’s a skill that can be honed through repetition and consistency. You don’t have to do it perfectly, but if you want to truly savor and refrain from missing out on the goodness of life, presence is invaluable. 

If you were sitting across from me in a therapy session, I would probably remind you that depression likes to keep us stuck in the past and anxiety likes to keep us stuck in the future. What’s the antidote to this? The practice of being present to our lives. Being mindful of what’s right in front of us and being where our feet are. It’s often more complex than that, but this is one tool that can be utilized when used consistently.

Consider the following as a guide to beginning your practice of being present:

• Practice grounding, using the 5 senses (naming 5 things you can touch, 4 things you can see, etc..)
• Unplug from technology for a few hours or even an entire day
• Go for a hike or a walk in nature and simply notice and name what you see
• Mindfully enjoy the food that you eat
• Sit with a friend and leave your phone in the car. Your presence is a gift as is theirs. 
• Make space to practice breath work or meditation
• Practice naming what you are grateful for

Those are simply a few. There are numerous ways to practice the art of being and staying present. The best part? You don’t have to go all the way to Uganda to begin.

~Lauren Sack, LMSW