Gratitude

Posted: December 12, 2024

Earlier today, I sat in the stands at a local high school pool and watched our boys’ waterpolo team win the state championship. As the clock ticked down the final seconds, parents, grandparents, friends, and alumni cheered so loud my ears are still ringing.And after all was said and done, as the trophies were being hoisted and pictures taken, the “Thank you’s” started to flow. Thank you to the team for all their hard work. Thank you to the coaches for their countless hours of preparation. To the fans for their support.To the volunteers for the hours given. To the alumni for paving the way. To the parents for the snacks and driving and everything else.

Happiness leads to gratitude. We all know and have experienced this to some degree, it flows naturally. But what if I told you the opposite is also true? That gratitude leads to happiness? That’s exactly what a series of studies have shown over the last two-and-a-half decades. The more we express gratitude the happier we become. In fact, gratitude positively impacts a wide variety of mental health factors. The Greater Good ScienceCenter at the University of California, Berkeley collects and distributes research on gratitude. Their collection shows that gratitude increases happiness, improves sleep quality, heightens resilience, leads to healthier relationships, increases work satisfaction, even improves our physical health, prompts forgiveness (which has its own benefits!), and the list goes on!

It's easy to express gratitude when things are going well. As I said before, it flows naturally when all is well. But what about when it’s not going well? What about when I’min the midst of pain and loss? When I’m depressed or anxious? When I’m angry? What about when my life seems to have fallen apart and I’m at rock bottom? In these moments, it won’t flow naturally, but the benefits are still there, waiting to be tapped into.In these moments, we have to be intentional. We choose gratitude, even though we’re not feeling grateful. In these moments, many find it helpful to have a little guidance.Below are two practical ways to practice and experience the benefits of gratitude in your life. The first is an individual journaling activity that you may find helpful in some of those more challenging times. The second is a group activity my family did around this time of year when I was a child that I hope you find useful in promoting a spirit of gratitude in yourself and in those you love most this Thanksgiving season.

Reflect and Savor a Moment

This activity can be done through journaling or simply through internal reflection. Set aside some time to reflect on your life and identify a time you felt particularly grateful.Now, act like a detective and really investigate the experience. When did this happen?Who were you with? What were you wearing, eating, smelling? Where were you? What could you see? What circumstances led to this moment? What came next? Search out all the clues of the scene with all 5 senses. Now, put yourself in that scene again. What were you feeling? Explore your internal senses and dig a little deeper than just happiness and gratitude. Were you feeling excitement? Joy? Surprise? Pleasure? Satisfaction? Purpose? Accomplishment? Now, allow yourself to just bask in that moment, savor it, roll it around in your mind and your heart. After you’ve savored it for a bit, ask yourself, what about that circumstance am I grateful for? Who made it possible?Reflect on that a bit further and consider recording your thoughts on the experience.You may find it useful to review these memories as you encounter more challenging moments in the future.

The Thankful Turkey

This is an activity I did with my family as a kid and now do with my own kids around this time of year. It’s pretty straight forward. Print off the outline of a turkey (there’s about a million of them online) and cut out turkey feathers. Gather your family or friends and have everybody write one thing they are grateful for on each feather and tape them to the turkey. This could be done one at a time over the days leading up to Thanksgiving, or all at once at a larger gathering. There are only 2 simple rules, no repeats, and no criticizing other’s answers. If you’re reading this blog and it’s not near Thanksgiving, don’t worry, just be a little more creative. Consider doing the same activity but adapting it to the time of year. Maybe write on snowflakes or little hearts and hang them on your living room wall. Maybe write on rays and add them to a sun. There’s lots of possibilities. You might be surprised the number of things you can come up with and how seeing others express gratitude prompts further gratitude within yourself!