Change...
Change is hard.
It doesn’t take much to upset the homeostasis.
At times the smallest shifts from the same-old
can make me feel vulnerable, weak, un-bold,
Like the cracking of a board’s basis.
When change is on the horizon, I feel a sensation
Deep down in my core, threatening to overtake
My mind, body; my whole being is at stake
Of becoming utterly frozen with trepidation.
Sometimes I want to run away
And just forget about the change that is to come.
I try to distract myself, do anything to prevent myself from
Becoming unraveled, my ropes all a fray.
Despite my best efforts, I can’t seem to find a solution
To calm my pounding heart
And soothe my shaking; I have to start
From the beginning, take a deep breath, and look inward to the only possible conclusion.
Change is inevitable,
I will have to face it one way or another.
Perhaps there is a way to get through this bother
Of a situation; am I able?
Change is hard. We thrive on familiarity and routine, and when that becomes disrupted, we can react in varying ways. It can be difficult sometimes (or many times) to work through our feelings about the change. How do we help ourselves fully adapt and work through our emotions so that we aren’t overwhelmed?
Something that can be helpful to start with is just taking a deep breath. It may sound cliché or silly, but taking a deep breath interrupts the fight or flight response (overwhelming feelings, sweaty palms, heart racing, etc.) and sends a signal to the body and brain that there is no danger and that it is okay to be still and calm. Next, remind yourself that it is okay to feel how you are feeling about the change. Your feelings are valid, and taking a minute to validate yourself and take notice to your feelings will allow you to have an open mindset to your feelings and situation. Then, take a minute to reflect on the root of your feelings; why is this so hard for me? What is happening that is causing me to feel this way, or what triggers are there that are causing me to react like this? Taking this minute to reflect on the root can allow you to see what specifically about the change is causing you unrest, and can then inform you how to work through it.
Knowing the root cause, you can tell yourself truths about the situation and reframe any negative or anxious thoughts that come up. For example, instead of saying to yourself,“This change is scary, I can’t do this,” you can reframe it and say instead to yourself, “This change is scary (validating your feeling), yet I know what I can do and control (take care of myself, what I say to others and myself, how I choose to view my situation, etc.). Another thing that can be helpful is to write out the pros and cons of this change. Seeing this laid out on paper can help get your anxieties out of your mind and remind yourself that though there are things you don’t like about the change, there are also things that can be positive about the change. It could be as simple as the possibility for personal growth, no matter how small, that can help you shift your mindset and allow yourself to be open to the change.
It is all easier said than done, but the more you are intentional about taking a minute to pause, breathe, and reflect, you will begin to feel more confident and open towards the change you are facing. You are capable! Know that you are not alone in this, and that you have it inside of you to work (and live) through whatever change comes your way.