One of my favorite things to do is introduce my children to some of the classical movies that I enjoyed in my youth. The other day, I decided to show them the 1986 movie, Short Circuit. The story of the movie follows the journey of an experimental military robot that gets struck by lightning and has gained a human-like intelligence. Early on in the movie, the robot, named Number 5, is exploring the world trying to understand the world of humans. One of the things that Number 5 continues to verbalize is “Need Input!”  Whenever input is given, Number 5 takes in the information but then repeats “Need Input!” 

What stuck with me about Number 5’s demand of “Need Input!” is that we, too, require input as we explore our world, especially as it relates to our interpersonal relationships.  How many times have you struggled to understand something that another person in your life is trying to convey to you? Likewise, how many times have you attempted to share something important to you with a person and they didn’t understand you? Many times, when the message that we convey are delivered effectively, conflict--be it internal or external-- may be the result.  

You may have heard the statement that “communication is key.”  Take a moment to think about all the areas in your life that a lack of communication wreaked havoc. How can increasing your communication skills help at home with spouse, kids, or parents? Or at work with your co-worker, supervisor, or customers? Or at school with your friends, teachers, or coaches? What should effective communication look like?

Essentially, communication is the sending and receiving of information. In an exchange of information between two entities, there is a sender and a receiver. As I’m writing this, I am currently the sender, and you, the reader, are the receiver. As simple as communication is when looking at it as sending and receiving information, there are times that communication is broken and the message becomes muddled. It is here that we look at the terms encode and decode.

Encode: The sender prepares a message to be sent to the receiver. As it’s being crafted, the sender thinks about the details of the message: who needs to hear the message, what information needs to be conveyed, when to share the information, why the information needs to be shared, and how the message needs to be delivered. 

Decode: The receiver begins to unpack the meaning of the message that was sent by the sender. This unpacking process includes: what information is the sender trying to convey, why is this information necessary, and what needs to be done with this information. 

In a perfect world, the process of encoding and decoding help the flow of communication from sender to receiver. In reality, it is in these processes that message is at risk for being muddled. For example, in encoding, crafting a critical, sarcastic, or hurtful statement where the sender may label,  tear down, or minimize the receiver which could lead to a defensive or stonewalling decode of the information. 

Think about a time that you’ve struggled with communication. At what point in the flow of communication did the message become muddled? What are some steps that you can take to work on how to better send or receive information with the people in your life?

Leo Preston | MA, LLPC