Are You in the Sandwich?

At some point, most of us will be in the sandwich stage of life. A good friend of mine and I have dubbed our stage of life as being in “The Sandwich” which is an excellent metaphor for the stage of life in which one is responsible for caring for their aging parents as well as children who have not yet launched on their own.  Often, one in this stage of life is required to juggle many responsibilities including their career, finances, friendships, church and community responsibilities, own personal relationship struggles, mental health concerns, and last but not least - family needs.  Increasing demands required by families including care for aging parents struggling with various illnesses and running their children to sporting, youth group, and school events adds additional pressure where one can feel squeezed between the two ends.  Thus, the individual may feel that they are in the center providing the primary ingredients and resources of the sandwich while their parents and children are the bread representing the bookends of the family generational system.

Oftentimes, this is a lovely stage of life filled with many opportunities for making family memories.  However, caring for one’s aging parents can be heart-breaking and stressful as one tries to come alongside their family member promoting as much independence as possible while ensuring the safety, care, and well-being of their loved one(s).  Many of those finding themselves in the sandwich generation spend much more time in this phase than generations prior due to improved healthcare and increased longevity of life.  According to the National Council on Aging among the ten most chronic ailments affecting the elderly is Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) and dementia (National Council of Aging, 2024, May 30).  I often receive many questions in my office about what are the common signs of AD and dementia as well as how to help their loved one slow down its progression.

Although not a specific disease, dementia is a term utilized to represent a collection of symptoms that affect the brain.  These include impaired intellectual functioning (problem solving ability and emotional control), personality changes, and behavioral concerns including agitation, paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations.  Dysregulated mood, falling more frequently, and disturbed gait in walking are also symptoms indicating the development of dementia.  Memory loss is a function of dementia but alone does not constitute a diagnosis of dementia as loss in at least one other brain function is required for diagnosis (Dementia Society of America, 2013-2025).  Dementia as a disease is caused by irreversible damage of brain cells (Alzheimer's 5 Association, 2012).  Several diseases cause dementia and include Alzheimer’s Disease, vascular dementia, Lewy Body dementia, frontotemporal dementia, Huntington’s Disease, and Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (Dementia Society of America, 2013-2025).  Of these dementia related diseases, AD is the most common type representing 60%-80% of all cases (Alzheimer's Association, 2012; Crous-Bou et al., 2017).

Due to AD’s prevalence, please look for a follow up Part 2 to this blog that will share the common stages of AD, helpful ways to slow the progression of AD dementia, practical steps if you suspect your loved one is suffering from a dementia related disease, and ways to provide self-care for those who are struggling with caregiver fatigue.  In the meantime, if you are caring for a loved one struggling with the effects of dementia know there is help. Seeking mental health care from one of our experienced providers for both you and your loved one can provide needed support as you journey through the steps of this disease.

References

Alzheimer’s Association. (2012). 2012 Alzheimer’s disease facts and figures. Alzheimer’s & Dementia, 8(2), 131-168. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jalz.2012.02.001

Crous-Bou, M., Minguillon, C., Gramunt, N., & Molinuevo, J. L. (2017). Alzheimer’s disease prevention: From risk factors to early intervention. Alzheimer’s Research & Therapy. 9(1), 71-71. https://doi.org/10.1186/s13195-017-0297-z

Dementia Society of America. (2013-2025). Definitions. https://www.dementiasociety.org/definitons?msclkid=cbcc77f8d4e419986ea21018b8993f40

National Council of Aging. (2024, May 30). The Top 10 Most Common Chronic Conditions in Older Adults. https://www.ncoa.org/article/the-top-10-most-common-chronic-conditions-in-older-adults/