Rituals of Connection: Small Moments That Strengthen Relationships

In the chaos of daily life, work demands, endless to-do lists, parenting, TikTok, it’s easy for couples to go from being emotionally attuned partners to functional roommates. The love is still there, but the connection may feel buried under the busyness. Life has gotten louder, and the connection between you might have gotten quieter.

That’s where rituals of connection come in. These small, intentional moments are more than habits, they're emotional lifelines that help couples stay bonded even when life pulls them in different directions.

Why Rituals Matter for Couples

According to relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman, couples who create and maintain habits of connection are more likely to report higher relationship satisfaction and emotional intimacy. These habits:

• Reinforce emotional safety

• Create predictability in times of stress

• Communicate “I see you, and you matter”

• Strengthen the couple’s identity as a team

Think of them as the relationship version of emotional glue, they hold you together when life starts to pull you apart

Research tells us that emotional connection is built in everyday interactions, not just during conflict resolution or deep conversations (Gottman & Silver, 2015). Dr. Gottman found that emotionally successful couples regularly make and respond to what he calls bids for connection, small moments of reaching out for attention, affection, or support.

Creating Your Own Rituals of Connection

There’s no one-size-fits-all formula. The best habits are personal, practical, and repeatable. Here are some examples couples often find helpful: *Cheat code- All of these involve putting your phone down. 

Daily Check-Ins

Ask each other: “What’s something that went well or what’s been hard today?”

Morning or Evening Rituals

Start or end the day together, even for five minutes with coffee, physical touch, or a quick chat.

Touchpoints

Share a hug, a kiss, or eye contact when parting or reuniting.

Celebrations

Create your own traditions for birthdays, holidays, or “just because” days. 

What If It Feels Awkward?

Even better! What a great opportunity to laugh with each other in the shared experience of working to improve connection. Any new habit feels a little clunky at first. But think of rituals of connection not as obligations, but as investments in your relationship. You’re creating space for connection, even if it’s brief or imperfect. You’ll likely find these small moments become something you both look forward to, and even miss when they’re absent.

Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.