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Internal Versus External Processing

August 29, 2021
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How do you process information? Do you need to think it over, or do you need to talk about it? People fall into one of two categories for processing information: the internal processor or the external processor. Here is another way to look at it. The external processor will talk to think while the internal processor will think to talk. One of these ways of processing information and navigating life’s challenges is not better than the other They both have strengths and weaknesses, and this is most often seen in the context of relationships when people process information differently. When people understand the way their spouse, friend, significant other, or coworker process information, it aids in promoting effective communication. However, when there is a disconnect in understanding the way others around you process information, it can lead to conflict, frustration, and anger.

External processors are strong in being a ...

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Processing

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conflict
patience
talk
think

Self-Compassion Over Shame

August 23, 2021
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I have been learning a lot about shame recently. I think if asked, we can all describe it. It’s when we believe not only that we did something wrong, but we believe we ARE wrong. These days, we can feel it anywhere. We post something on Instagram and someone critiques or condemns us for posting it. We say something in a group of friends and people laugh or make fun of us for saying it. We stand up to our family on something we feel is wrong or have differing beliefs about, and they shoot us down. Even if we have a health crisis or feel like our body fails us, that can also be shame. Like I said, we can feel it anywhere, anytime, and from anyone.

There are two things that I feel combat shame or at least help us identify it and help us learn to distance ourselves from it, the first being self-compassion. This is quite different the self-esteem. Self-esteem “refers to our sense of self-worth, perceived value, or how ...

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Shame

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self-compassion
self-esteem

Need Input!

August 14, 2021
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One of my favorite things to do is introduce my children to some of the classical movies that I enjoyed in my youth. The other day, I decided to show them the 1986 movie, Short Circuit. The story of the movie follows the journey of an experimental military robot that gets struck by lightning and has gained a human-like intelligence. Early on in the movie, the robot, named Number 5, is exploring the world trying to understand the world of humans. One of the things that Number 5 continues to verbalize is “Need Input!” Whenever input is given, Number 5 takes in the information but then repeats “Need Input!”

What stuck with me about Number 5’s demand of “Need Input!” is that we, too, require input as we explore our world, especially as it relates to our interpersonal relationships. How many times have you struggled to understand something that another person in your life is trying to convey to you ...

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Communication

Tags:

input